I really don’t know how to handle you. You cling to me everyday and everywhere I go. I don’t know how to get rid of you. Grief, you blurt out everything and anything at the best and worst times possible. It feels like word vomit. Unlike when I was diagnosed with my anxiety and depression, I knew that one day I’d see the light at the end of the tunnel… yet here you are and it looks never ending. Grief, you have ruined relationships, you have strengthened some, you have made me laugh, you have made me cry, scream. You taunt me in my sleep, you make me babble on and on. You make me run and most days I just want to wake up from this never ending nightmare.
Grief, I know I didn’t expect you, and that no one really can, but I wish you had a manual on how to survive with you constantly by my side.