Compliment the Person

Written by Ashley Nowak

“You look great!” “Your hair is so pretty.” “I love your outfit!” “Have you been working out?” While these are nice to hear, I think it is time we expand our compliment bank. We can make someone feel good about who they are as a person, instead of how they appear.

Here are some of the best compliments I’ve ever received:

When I was in high school I had a teacher who provided thoughtful feedback on all of my papers and projects. She once made a comment highlighting my creativity. This stuck with me and I really started to believe in my own creative thinking, which I believe has helped me to be more successful in my career and in life.

When I was pregnant last year, one of my students said, “you’re going to be a really good mom.” I almost cried right then and there. It was so sincere. At the time I’m not sure I understood why it meant so much, but as I reflect on it now, I think it is because it was based on me as a person and helped ease some of my subconscious fears of becoming a mother.

My husband often reminds me that I am a hard worker. He points out that I am always putting 100% effort into everything that I do. Most people will agree, it was so nice to hear when your hard work is recognized.

I am writing about these virtues not to boast; quite honestly I still really struggle with accepting compliments. I tell you about my favorite compliments because these are the ones that mean the most to me; they highlight who I am. If it’s not your norm, try complimenting a person’s personality or character. It emphasizes that what really matters, is who we are on the inside.

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