Lately I have been stressing over letting other people down, letting myself down, trying to find my place, my purpose that I broke down. Yep. You heard that right. Even though I am an advocate for mental health, I still have my days where I just want to cry, stay in bed, and truly not face life. That is what mental illness does to you. Every day you fight it to go away. I am here to kick depressions ass and that is why I talk. I have a dream. I have a dream to one day create a non profit to help my community. I have a dream to not have my story be about having others feel bad for me, but to not feel alone and know that there are so many resources out there to get help. That is why I talk to end the stigma. It is not easy by any means. Sometimes I feel a lot of pressure to keep going. Sometimes I feel that if I have a breakdown, others will look down one me. That is why I become open because I am working on just being me. Just Anna. My family has a huge part. They are my support system when times get tough. I talk so that one day someone will read this and know that what they are feeling, that feeling of not being able to face life anymore can go away. That life gets stressful and even if you don’t have a traumatic event, this disease can come and sneak up on you. There is so much that life can offer, but I also have to work on myself. Sometimes I get this high on life where I feel invincible. That I can do anything I set my mind to. That also comes with the pressures that society brings. Isn’t it sad that there are so many people out there that want to make a difference that it is hard for them to face society and they back down? Think about how much better the world would be if we encouraged and helped each other to reach their goals. I get it though. Life comes by, work takes up time, family and other social commitments become important, and then all of a sudden we are realizing that we still have that urge to still change the world. One day I hope that I can make a positive difference in my community, but for now I also have to help myself evolve into the person I want to be emotionally and mentally.
For whatever reason you are reading this, go out into the world and find that purpose. It’s out there, you just have to do some digging.