Long days, only memories from the past left, constant anxiety for the future, and going through day after day dealing with the unknowns are what grief is all about. It’s kind of funny because some days go by so fast and others go by so slow. Usually I wake up, turn on my Keurig because yes, I have one in my room. wash my face, take my medication for depression because also yes I think medication helps to live a healthy life in the world of mental health. Then I take on the day.
It’s funny because you feel like you found yourself and then one day a chunk of your identity is taken away and it feels so unfair. I have vowed to myself to help relearn my new identity because everyday is a day of healing my mind and body. I thought my purpose here in life was to speak out about mental health and resources in my community which still is, but now its dealing with grief, the sudden loss of a loved one.
I am not going to lie. Life is a bitch sometimes but there are so many beautiful things that God has created for us. We just need to discover them. That’s what helps me get out of bed in the morning. Whether its a garden, a book, social activities, there is beauty all around us. Currently drinking my favorite tea, Yogi Honey Lavender, and the tea bag says “say what you mean, mean what you say”.
That reminds me of being true to yourself and what you say to yourself. Build yourself up to see the beauty in all things. Grief happens, but how you deal with it just like mental illness depicts your lifestyle.
For whatever reason you are reading this, keep those cloudy days sunny no matter the forecast.